Jesus Loves You This You Should Know

The marque was supposed to read, "Jesus Loves You This You Should Know." It was about 9pm when the photo was taken. I left the shudder open too long, which is why you can't read the black font. I was looking forward to this picture coming out well. There is always one photo on a roll of film that really makes you look forward to getting the roll back, and this was the one. I felt that it kinda speaks volumes at the condition of Joplin, or any city or town in the world. Jesus Loves You... This You SHould Know. I wanted the cars in the background to be the victims of the statement, and they turned out ok, but the dadgum marque didn't. Oh well.

I know what it says, and perhaps, thats whats most important. I am a white washed tomb... well I don't even know if I can call myself white washed... but I'm a tomb. I spend a lot of time and energy, sometimes against my own will, showing people what Jesus' love looks like. But how I do that, I do not even know, because i have a hard time believeing that He loves me. Its an odd place, because i know that the whole idea of Jesus is to love us, to the point of dying for us so that we may be saved. Yet as I discussed in my last post, or the one before, the magnitude of the word Love is something that I doubt my finite human mind may ever be able to comprehend. Jesus asks that we love Him and love others, those are the two greatest commandments. There ought to be a long list of other commandments in our New Testaments for us to read over and obey, but there isn't, which gives evidence to the strength and enourmity (thats probably not even a damn word) of Love. If we can just Love Jesus. If we can just Believe that he Loves us.

Jesus Loves You This You Should Know. Nick, Amber, Ray, Lindsay, Alexis, Anna, Chris, Zach, Tim, Keaton, Christophe, Antonio... Jesus loves you. This you should Know.

Some people can stop and ponder that and rejoice in it. I on the other hand am frustrated and disspointed by the statement. Good Jesus you preach Freedom. You say that Freedom is in you. But Good Teacher, show me how! Master teach me how to rest! Rabbi, why have you made this so hard and cruel? Jesus I confess a bitterness to you. Do you understand how hard it is to bow my head and pretend that I am grateful for you peace and salvation? Why is that? Why have you made Love such an unatainable concept to grasp and live with? You say you've saved me, but I feel damned and destined for anger and rage and disgust. Destined for a life of turmoil and dissapointment. But you are Life. You are abundant life, Truth Peace and Freedom and Salvation. Well I say... teach me. please. I feel worthless and sick.

I am told to not listen to my subjective feelings, that my emotions come and go with the wind. This is true. I believe that. I am told to preach to myself the gospel. (which by the way is a word that only frustrates me). I'm told to preach myself the life, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus. That He is truth, and I am wrong. That I am a sinner, and He is perfect. That I am deserving of Death, but He has saved me. That I am free from Sin, and that I am not really in bondage. That He is God, and I am not.